April Showers

The day begins all sunny and bright;
It fills a young heart entirely with delight.
Then, suddenly the sky turns dark,
Like a horror movie during the approach of a killer shark.

                           -Excerpt from April Showers Bring May Flowers by Stephanie Selleck

For a month that began a week or so ago, it’s been a long one already. I know I’ve been pretty quiet on the blogging front lately. I’ve been swamped at work (and home), haven’t run in two weeks and frankly, have been dealing with a slight case of writer’s block. Then again, I don’t always find it easy to write when I’m not running because my mind is not clear, and I am not as in tune with my emotions and feelings. I can always think the clearest and write the best right after a long, hard run. If it’s not work, writer’s block or something else, it’s lack of sleep that has kept me away. Running – exhausting energy – helps me sleep too. A deep, calm sleep that I rarely get without a good run first. It is on one of the reasons I enjoy running in the evenings so much. Running does as much for my mind and soul as it does my body.

As many of you know, I went to see the doctor on Tuesday about my knee(s). It depends on the day, hour, rotation of the Earth and phase of the Moon which knee hurts for how long and why. Sometimes they both hurt. Sometimes they don’t. (Ah, those were the days). I have spent the last two weeks hobbling around, inching sideways up the stairs and sliding down stairs on my behind. I have to take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut before getting out of the car. Sometimes my knee throbs in the middle of the night, waking me up from an already restless sleep.

The doctor’s appointment took all of ten minutes. Dr. B. moved my left knee around, pressed on it and asked if it hurt. It seemed okay. He started to do the same to my right knee when I winced in pain and he decided not to. You can see the swelling in it now – it hasn’t gone down since the last time I ran. Before I was diagnosed with Patellofemoral Syndrome or Runner’s Knee, which is an aching pain around the kneecap (mine is a result of a biomechanical imbalance which causes a misalignment). Now I am diagnosed with a worse case of Patellofemoral Syndrome or Runner’s Knee, which is an aching pain around the kneecap (mine apparently has turned to a gristle-like substance). The fat pad under the kneecap is inflamed, hence the swelling and additional pain.

With Physical Therapy (again), Rest (still), Ice (more), Compression (regularly) and Elevation (now) I will live to run another day. I may, however, have to move into a refrigerator box down by the Olentangy River due to my PT bills. April sure did bring on the rain showers.

Don’t run when it hurts; run when it doesn’t. Strength train. And then strength train some more. Seems like a simple solution to an ever-nagging problem.

The 21st of April will mark the one year anniversary of my mother’s unexpected passing. Has it really been that long? Yes? No? Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday, the pain is so fresh, so raw; and yet, other days, I can’t remember something small about her and I feel like it has been decades. April is dumping now. I do, however, remember every single solitary detail from that day and I am dreading re-living it this year. I don’t know what to expect. I mostly wish I could crawl into a hole and come out with May flowers.

April showers do bring May flowers, right? And for everything ugly we must face, there is something beautiful waiting, just below the surface. I can’t let myself believe anything different.

Until the next mile marker,

Views from the Road:

Pace Per Mile host Chris Nicholas, is running across America to raise funds for the Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. He is currently on Day 12 in Chillicothe, Ohio and has run over 300 miles so far!

Follow Chris’ journey and see more Views from the Road with Pace Per Mile or Run and Finish. Please donate; 100% of the proceeds will benefit Children’s Miracle Network and stay withing the community from which they were donated to help local families and children. No amount is too small to help make a difference in the life of a child today.

Be a part of the event HERE!

Comments

  1. So glad you have a diagnosis and though serious, you know what you need to do. That is a good thing although you may not like it. I am so glad it was not something that would keep you from running any more at all.
    I knew that April was going to be a tough month emotionally for you. I wish I could do something to ease your sorrow and help you get through it.
    I choose to remember and celebrate my parents on just about every day of the year OTHER than the anniversary dates of their passings… for some reason I choose not to acknowledge those events on those particular days. We are all different and I hope you will find a way that is comfortable for you. Hugs.

  2. Kimberly Turner Bouldin says:

    (((HUGS))) Sara! As horrible as your diagnosis sounds, at least you have an answer and a plan. I know that if anyone can get past this, it is you. I have faith in you. Love you, girl!

    Kim

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