Operation Self Sabotage: A Success!

Self (n): a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one’s own self. (i.e. me)
Sabotage (n): any undermining of a cause. (i.e. just plain excuses)
Success (n): the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors. (i.e. my previously planned 4 mile run turned into I’ll-barely-make-it-to-1-mile-and-quit-run)
Self Sabotage: Google says, “Sometimes we shoot ourselves in the foot by reacting to stress in ways that cause even more stress!” Thank you, Google, oh-wise-one. You couldn’t have picked a better response. (i.e. the exact thing that occurred tonight)
I was feeling great after my 7 mile run on Saturday, took Sunday off to rest, pushed it off Monday after a long day at work, and was more than ready to give it a good go at 4 miles tonight when I left the office. So, what the hell happened?
I got on the treadmill.
Barely one craptastic mile later, I got off the treadmill.
My legs were fine, my body felt great, my breathing was calm, but my mind said, “You’re on the treadmill, prepare for failure.” So, I did and it was a failed run. I looked at the display at 0.46 miles and decided it would take too long/be too hard/be too boring/be too slow/[insert excuse of your choice here] to go all 4 miles. After all, it had been another bad day at work riddled with bad news and whiny people and pessimism (myself not excluded). There are bills to pay, budgets to write, emails to respond to, errands to run, groceries to buy, stuff to put away, no time to run, and oh-my-god-how-am-I-ever-going-to-run-Pittsburgh-if-I-can’t-run-4-miles-on-this-treadmill-right-here-right-now!? So, barely another half mile, a thousand excuses, and a near-panic attack later, why try? Yup. Self. Sabotage. B-A-N-G.
My body said RUN, but my mind said DON’T. There’s no question who is the victor.
Anyone else ever a master at their own demise? Anyone else hate the treadmill and wish it would blow up (but not really because then you would have to run in the dark in the ghetto by yourself)? Just checking. Thought it might be me.
Here’s hoping you all have a better than craptastic run tonight,

Comments

  1. we have all been there! don’t beat yourself up! tomorrow will be a better day!

  2. Nope, not just you. I’m AWESOME at self-sabotage. If I could run even 1/2 as well as I can sabotage myself I would be an Olympian for sure!!!!! My self-sabotage has resulted in my 12th day off from running a row. At least you got on the dreadmill and did a mile – that’s something! If it were easy – everyone would do it.

  3. Crafty Jogger says

    I think everyone has those days! I know your next run will be better. It’s okay to have off days!

    I did some of my own self sabotage tonight. I have been trying to eat a little less junk food since I’m no longer burning 1000+ extra calories a week due to my foot injury… but I just ate 900 calories of junk food for dinner. I wasn’t even hungry!

    PS: the night is still young. You could still get in a mile or two. Don’t give up =)

  4. Aww, big hugs! It sounds like you’re having a rough time. I hope it passes soon. I haven’t run on a treadmill since August or September. I can see how you’d get bored on one. 🙁 So, what’s your plan? Are you going to try again in the morning or tomorrow night? Do you take running breaks? I took a week off last month, and I think it did me a lot of good. How soon does marathon training start?

  5. Half the battle is recognizing what’s happening – how many times in the past have you made excuses and BOUGHT into them? While the battle may have been lost, the war will be won because you learned something tonight – and knowledge is power.

    In the past, you would make the excuse “it’s too hard, i have emails to answer, stuff to put away.” and we would say “yep.” and give up. You’re not giving up, you’re acknowledging the excuse.

    Next time you’ll do better or you won’t but one craptastic night, does not a failure make – and I would urge you never to use that description again. People who give up are failures, people who stumble, reflect and keep going anyway are winners.

    Treadmills blow – I’m having my own struggles as are millions of other winter runners. They are boring for sure but it’s a necessary evil and it’s better than running thru the ghetto in the dark.

    Hang in there.

  6. Been there and done that!! I think that runs like this make the good one’s so good!! Treadmills are tough!

  7. Thank you for the sweetest comment ever! I am going to print it and post it in my room! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I am so happy to have found you online too…now when can we do a blogger meet up!! Sara, you deserve to be confident and have the best self-esteem because you are truly amazing, inspiring, beautiful and the sweetest person ever!!

  8. Oh, man…I hate the treadmill. It’s a combination of boring AND evil monster ready to throw me to the floor. It’s never actually happened, but it scares me enough that I avoid it as much as I can. BTW, my husband just bought me The Non-Runner’s Marathon Trainer (thanks, hon…been a runner now for 8 months), and it had lots of strategies for combatting negative self-talk. Might be worth picking up if you can find it cheap on Amazon.

  9. Thank you for the sweetest comment ever! I am going to print it and post it in my room! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I am so happy to have found you online too…now when can we do a blogger meet up!! Sara, you deserve to be confident and have the best self-esteem because you are truly amazing, inspiring, beautiful and the sweetest person ever!!

  10. we have all been there! don’t beat yourself up! tomorrow will be a better day!

  11. Half the battle is recognizing what’s happening – how many times in the past have you made excuses and BOUGHT into them? While the battle may have been lost, the war will be won because you learned something tonight – and knowledge is power.

    In the past, you would make the excuse “it’s too hard, i have emails to answer, stuff to put away.” and we would say “yep.” and give up. You’re not giving up, you’re acknowledging the excuse.

    Next time you’ll do better or you won’t but one craptastic night, does not a failure make – and I would urge you never to use that description again. People who give up are failures, people who stumble, reflect and keep going anyway are winners.

    Treadmills blow – I’m having my own struggles as are millions of other winter runners. They are boring for sure but it’s a necessary evil and it’s better than running thru the ghetto in the dark.

    Hang in there.

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