Support Eric O’Connor and #Tread24

I first connected with Eric about six months after my Pulmonary Embolism (blood clot in my lung) in 2012 through the Facebook Support Group Running After A Pulmonary Embolism. I went on a short run around my neighborhood and hesitantly posted this picture in the group.

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Eric, a fellow survivor and runner, was one of the first people to respond with support and encouragement of my efforts to get out of the house and try to run again. We’ve kept in touch through the group and various running events that Eric has participated in over the last year, including the New York City Marathon.

Eric has remained a personal inspiration to me since then as an example of someone who has persevered through one of the worst events imaginable and continued on to excel at a sport we both share a passion for. Not only that, Eric is always available to offer a kind or encouraging word to someone who is struggling, including me.

Now, Eric needs your support. He is running 24 consecutive hours on a treadmill to raise awareness in support of the National Blood Clot Alliance. The event begins tomorrow, April 10 at 12:00 p.m. EST.

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Why would anyone run for 24 hours on a treadmill, you ask? Eric’s reasons are simple:

  • Use run to build awareness of blood clots
  • Minimum 100 miles
  • Try something I’m not sure I can finish

Please join me in supporting Eric on his journey by visiting the Tread 24 website. You can read more about Eric, donate and join the fight against blood clots. 

On average, 274 Americans die from a blood clot every day and 30 percent of Pulmonary Embolisms are fatal. More people die from blood clots each year than the total number of people who lose their lives each year to AIDS, breast cancer, and motor vehicle crashes combined.

Watch Eric live tomorrow here beginning at noon and please spread the word about this important word by using the hashtag #Tread24. You may even choose to run a few miles in solidarity with  Eric and the National Blood Clot Alliance at some point on Friday or Saturday. I plan to do the same.

Good luck, Eric! I’ll be cheering you on every step of the way.

Until the next mile marker,

It’s been Two Years.

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I am two years into my recovery from a DVT and subsequent massive PE that occurred in early June 2012. The incident left me reeling – not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

It is difficult to explain what this recovery was like. It was not like taking six, eight or even 12 weeks off for a stress fracture or shoulder surgery. It’s not like having the flu or bronchitis or pneumonia that just won’t go away. It’s not like fighting an infection or a nagging running injury. No matter how much you think it might be, it’s just not. What it is like (so I’ve been told via comparison) is going through chemotherapy, recovering from a heart attack or learning to live again after a stroke. Cancer. Heart Attack. Stroke. Blood Clots. Except recognition of the last one comes far less often than the predecessors.

Public awareness of the signs, symptoms, risk factors and effects of blood clots are are not widely known, both is the public and medical sectors. Yet, blood clots kill an estimated 300,000 Americans each year (source), which is more lives than those claimed by AIDS, car accidents and breast cancer combined. Blood clots are also the leading cause of preventable hospital deaths. Every six minutes someone in this country will die of a PE, or blood clot in the lung. The lifelong effects of a DVT, or blood clot in the leg, can be devastating and far-reaching ranging from constant pain and swelling to skin ulcers physically and PTSD emotionally. Often, a diagnosis of a DVT or PE is a result of an underlying condition, sometimes previously unknown, such as hereditary or autoimmune clotting factors, lupus or cancer. Sometimes, the diagnoses of a DVT or PE comes as a result of pregnancy, sitting for long periods, smoking or weight gain. Sometimes, the diagnosis of DVT or PE comes out of the blue. Blood clots can happen to anyone, of any size and physical ability, at any age.

At my two-year follow-up, my hematologist stopped what he was doing and said to me, “You look like I imagine you did before this happened to you. I didn’t know you then, but I imagine this is more of the real you.” He was silent for a moment and then continued, “I just don’t see many people come back from as ill as you were. You’re really lucky to be here.”

Two years post-PE, I would agree that I am physically recovered from what happened to me. I can breathe without oxygen, walk without assistance and get out of bed every day. While I am not back to running yet, I feel like I could start exercising to the best of my ability again. Before this time, the desire to even try was gone. To say I am “healed” is another story. I will constantly need to have my blood monitored via intravenous draw (weekly to monthly) to monitor my blood clotting levels due to the disease that caused them to go awry in the first place; manage medication; deal with continuous pain and swelling in my affected leg, chronic fatigue and constantly be under the watchful eye of specialists for diseases like Lupus, mixed connective tissue disorder and rheumatoid arthritis, not to mention another clotting incident. I know running saved me physically. I believe training for long distances and being healthy before this happened is what helped my body physically overcome what is the worst thing to have ever happened to it.

Two years post-PE I would agree that I am very much in the middle of recovering from the emotional and psychological trauma of DVT and PE. I am nowhere near recovered from that – and I don’t yet anticipate when I will be.

Talking about what happened to me and advocating for increased blood clot awareness has become a primary focus in my life. I find that most people do not know what a DVT and/or PE is and if they do, they do not think it is something that could ever happen to them. I find that the athletic and health communities in particular – communities that I am still very much engaged in – are particularly unaware of the dangers associated with blood clots. Perhaps most frightening is that people just do not know what the symptoms of these conditions are, more proof that we need more awareness. I am grateful to have recently had the opportunity to share my story and awareness efforts in an interview with Everyday Health as part of my ongoing efforts. Please read and share!

While I have come so far in my recovery, I have some distance to go, but I know there is hope for the future. Hope that I will continue to recover and hope that the world will get out about blood clots, their symptoms and their devastating, often deadly effects. And, while I will always face the burden of health and an uncertain future in terms of it, I know I also have much to be grateful for. I am one of the lucky ones who survived.

Tell me about you. What has been the toughest recovery period of your life? How have you overcome physical struggles? Mental struggles? Did you previously know about DVT and PE?

Until the next mile marker,

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More on Me

It’s been awhile since I have posted, I know. Life gets in the way, posting becomes infrequent and finding a time to write becomes more and more difficult and farther down on the list of things To Do. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say and it’s not that nothing has been going on.  In fact, it’s times like this I wish I was better organized and had my content planned out better, but I also believe there is something to be said for writing from the heart and that is what this is. Here’s more on me – writing, remembering and [not really] running.

…On Writing

You won’t know it just by looking, but Words to Run By got a makeover thanks to Ryan and his team over at WP Site Care (check them out, they are rolling out some new features right now). If you are new to blogging or have no idea how to start using (or no idea how to use) WordPress, Ryan can help you. Words to Run By is now hosted at SiteGround, and I have high hopes that this is a beneficial and hopefully long-lasting transition to a permanent home for this site’s needs. Previously, I was hosted with Dreamhost since I made the move to self-hosted WordPress (best move ever by the way!) about two years ago; and while Dreamhost was great for a beginning blog and offered phenomenal pricing, I was really feeling like they could no longer meet the demands of my websites without a steadily rising cost. I also noticed the customer service started to diminish over the last several months (as my problems seemed to increase). Dreamhost was a great place for me to start, but I needed to move on as my site has continued to grow. Lesson learned? Do your hosting research ahead of time. While Ryan and the team at WP Site Care moved my website and ensured a solid hosting foundation over at SiteGround with no hassle to me, it does cost money to have your website(s) moved and it was not without a whole lot of worrying (okay, I might have panicked a time or two, sorry, Ryan) for me.

With SiteGround, I hope to deliver more up-time, faster page loading times and a friendlier user experience all-around. Behind the scenes I am looking forward to 24/7 live technical support if I need it, increased site speed and especially enhanced site security. I am to get back to the business of blogging without having to worry about my hosting provider anymore.

…On Remembering

April 21 marked the third year since my mother passed away. On one hand, I can’t believe it has only been that long since I saw her, talked to her, hugged her or ran with her. On the other hand, it seems like an entire lifetime since I saw her, talked to her, hugged her or ran with her.

Losing my mom does not get any easier. It just gets different. The pain I feel today is not the same pain as I felt the day it happened, the weeks or months since that day or even the anniversary of her passing last year. There have been so many times I have wanted to talk to her, to ask her something or tell her something. I’ve missed her advice, her shoulder to cry on and her undeniable support of me and my endeavors. While I don’t pick up the phone to call her anymore and her face is no longer in my phone, I think of her in different ways or at different times. When I am shopping and see something she would like or when the sun is shining and I know she would be out enjoying the weather, the first in our family to wear shorts in the spring.  I think of her when I eat strawberries because she loved them, when I write a new post because she was the first to read it and when I cry because she never told me not to.

My heart will never be the same and I’ve come to realize, maybe it isn’t supposed to be. I just hope I can convey the love she had for me through the love I have to share with others and in that way, a piece of her love will always live on.

…On [Not really] Running

I can’t remember the last time I ran. The need that I used to feel to run, just isn’t there since the blood clot nearly two years ago. That brings great concern for me as the writer of a blog called Words to Run By. I love blogging, I love writing, and I used to love running just as much, but it’s been hard for me to feel that love again. Running is tied to things that make me very sad – losing my mother, nearly losing my own life and having my self-confidence shattered to the core as it has never been in the past. It is harder and harder for me to remember the positive memories and things that running has brought to me life. It is strange to me the things I associate with running and the things that I don’t. Right now the negative associations far outweigh the positive and that is something that I hope will only take time to work through.

On a more positive note, I can see through it. I can see myself getting past the pain I feel when it comes to lacing up my shoes, but I don’t know how to do that just yet. For starters, I am getting out and walking with my dogs and my husband at least twice a week. Compared to training, this feels like nothing, but I can’t discount that. I’ve fought too hard to even get to where I am today. The truth is? I am walking when I can. I am trying to be smarter about what I eat. I am conscious of the changes I need to make to ensure a healthy lifestyle (if the weight comes off, then it does; but it is no longer my sole motivator for diet and exercise). Sometimes I think the universe had a grand design to encourage me to take a break from running and maybe this is all part of that break. Only time will tell. I know there is a future for me in running again and I am hoping in time I will see it. Until that time, I’m hanging on and don’t have any plans to pack up and move out of blogland.

Tell me about you. What have you been up to for the last few weeks? Have you written a fantastic post I need to read? Have you celebrated a life event or the memory of one? Have you run a race or are you preparing for a race? Do you get in a blogging rut or run out of time to post? Tell me in the comments!

Until the next mile marker,

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You Can Get a Blood Clot: Know the facts, Save a Life

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March is Blood Clot Awareness Month. And before you decide you don’t need to read this post because it could never happen to you since you are (insert that amazing, wonderful thing you are here); I am here to tell you it can happen to you. The National Blood Clot Alliance (a.k.a. Stop the Clot) is getting this urgent message out to the public and policymakers to raise awareness, “So You Think You Can’t Get A Blood Clot? Think Again.” It does not matter how fit, unfit, skinny, young, old, active, healthy, unhealthy you are. You can get a blood clot.

Blood clots affect an estimated 900,00 Americans each and every year and kill up to 600,000 Americans every year. Blood clots kill more people than AIDS, Breast Cancer and motor vehicle accidents combined every year, except there is far less public awareness about them (Source). In fact, the statistics are astounding:

  • Blood clots are a leading cause of preventable hospital deaths in the United States (Source).
  • Blood clots are the leading cause of maternal deaths in the United States (Source).
  • 1 in 3 people who are diagnosed with PE will die.
  • In 25 percent of people who experience a PE, the first symptom is sudden death.
  • One person every minute will be diagnosed with DVT in the U.S. One person every six minutes will die from a PE in the U.S. (Source)
  • 10 to 30 percent of people affected by DVT/PE will die within one month of diagnosis.

I didn’t think I could get a blood clot. It never crossed my mind, especially since I decided to start running, lose weight and take control of my health in 2010. I spent nearly three years running – countless 5K’s, half marathons, a marathon and over half of the Goofy Challenge in 2012. I dropped out of the race – and not for lack of trying – at mile 22 of the full marathon (the day after I completed the half marathon) due to severe pain in my left lower leg and knee, which I attributed to ongoing knee problems. I was disappointment (mostly because I had to leave the Goofy Medal behind), but I was content I gave it everything I could in the race – because I did.

That was in January and I took an extended break before picking up coaching again in late May of the same year. Many of you already know my story, but for those of you that don’t, here’s the brief version. I went out for that two mile training run with my group on that Saturday morning and it went well, but I could tell I was out of shape due to not running. My leg and knee hurt immediately after the run and I was frustrated that my knee still had not healed, in my opinion. The pain was slightly different too, and I suspected an early case of plantar fasciitis. I went home to rest, ice and elevate and took a nap.

I woke up with a pain in my left side, which I attributed to a pulled muscle, once again, due to being out of shape. I took a hot shower, stretched and went about my day, hobbling on my leg, which was nothing new to me.

By that evening, I was feeling tired and decided to go to bed early, only, I could not lay down flat in bed. When I did, my side hurt even more. I propped myself up with some pillows and slept – restlessly – on the couch. My husband checked on me a few times and did ask if I needed to go to the hospital, but I declined saying it was from my run.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling better at first, but the situation escalated throughout the day and into that evening as well. By Sunday night, I could barely speak in full sentences because the pain in my side was so great. It felt like someone was stabbing me or jabbing a finger between my ribs. The pain in my leg had also become significantly worse. It felt like someone had the fleshy part behind me knee in a vice and kept tightening. I could barely walk and my breathing was becoming more shallow. I cancelled plans to attend a family birthday celebration, which is not like me, and out of concern, my father called my physician who called me. When I explained I would not be so worried about my “sidestich” if I could walk on my leg, he became very silent. I knew then something was wrong. He instructed me to go to the nearest Emergency Room with a trauma center and he would call ahead to let them know I was coming. He believed a I had a Pulmonary Embolism.

I was admitted to the hospital and spent the better part of the next week in the intensive care unit, unable to walk, eat or use the bathroom on my own. What I suffered from was a Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) or blood clot in the leg (upper calf in my case) that broke off and traveled through my bloodstream, my heart and lodged in my lung as a Pulmonary Embolism (PE). I was lucky to be alive. I left the hospital a week later on blood thinners, with oxygen and unable to walk unassisted. I had heard of blood clots before – PEs even –  and I knew they had to be serious, but I had no idea the extent of the damage done to my body or that one could ever happen to me. I did not know the symptoms or that I could have no symptoms (of a DVT). I did not know I should put the pain in my leg and the pain in my side, or as I now know, my lung together. Knowing may have saved me a lot of pain and damage to my body.

The symptoms of DVT (blood clot commonly in the calf, groin or pelvic area) can include swelling in the affected leg, ankle or  foot; pain in your leg, ankle or foot (keep in mind pain in the calf can feel like cramping or a charley horse that won’t go away after massaging, ice, elevation or rest); warmth over the affected area; and changes in skin color such as turning pale, blue red or purple. If you suspect you have a DVT, you should make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible or seek prompt medical attention.

The symptoms of a PE (blood clot that has traveled to the lung) can include unexplained sudden onset of shortness of breath; chest pain or discomfort that worsens when you take a deep breath, cough or lie down; feeling light headed, dizzy or fainting; rapid pulse; sweating; coughing up blood; and a sense of anxiety, nervousness or impending doom. If you suspect you have a PE, seek emergency medical attention immediately or call 9-1-1, as it is life threatening.

While there are several factors that put you at risk for a blood clot including a hospitalization or recent surgery, major accident or trauma, immobility due to a long plane or car ride, pregnancy, taking hormone replacements including contraceptives, heredity and obesity, there are also several things you can do to help prevent a blood clot. Your risk is greatly reduced by staying active and stretching often when sitting or traveling by plane or car for long periods; maintain an ideal body weight; know your genetic risk factors and family history for developing a clot; and if you have a major hospitalization or surgery, discussing blood clot prevention with your doctor.

Blood clots, especially those to the lung, are devastating physically, emotionally and psychologically. My entire life was turned upside down. Nearly two years later, I am still recovering from what happened to me and while I have slowly regained my physical abilities almost to what they were, the emotional and psychological impact of what happened to me is something I am still facing on a daily basis. It was discovered I have an autoimmune clotting disorder that will never allow me to come off blood thinners for the treatment and prevention of blood clots. At 30 years old, that is a very scary prospect, as well as the associated complications that come from the disorder and a lifetime of intense medications.

Yet, I am alive and was given a second chance to live my life and for me, a part of that is educating others about this silent killer. Awareness is key. Knowing matters. It could save your life or the life of someone you know one day. Spread the word.

For more about my story, blood clots and Blood Clot Awareness Month, including materials to share, please visit-

Until the next mile marker,

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I wish I had plantar fasciitis instead of a blood clot

I’ve been staring at a blank computer screen for just about four and a half hours now, and all I can think of to describe the last year is, “I wish had I plantar fasciitis instead of a blood clot.”

Yes, you read that right. I wish I had plantar fasciitis. I wish I could say that’s all it was, better luck next season, you’ll feel better after some PT.

Why would I wish that? Because at this time last year, I thought I had plantar fasciitis and then I almost died when it turned out to be a blood clot in my leg that broke free, traveled through my heart and lodged in my lung as a pulmonary embolism instead.

The truth is the last year has been nothing but a roller coaster ride – not to sound cliché – of emotions. I have felt angry, alone, confused, scared, betrayed, depressed and been in more physical pain than I ever thought possible. It is said the pain of a PE trumps child birth and while I can’t compare the two, I wouldn’t question it if someone ruled in favor of the PE. Now, I am dealing with the emotional trauma of facing a year (or more) recovery period and lifelong treatment of a condition that will never really go away. To some degree, I will always live with the expectation – and fear that goes along with it – that I could, more than others, develop another clot, and I question whether or not I would make it through a second – or third, or fourth – one.

It took me 363 days to run again – without pain or fear or gasping for air in four and a half seconds. I ran a successful two miles for the first time, two nights ago. Successful in that I finished standing on two feet, breathing and able to walk the next day. It’s funny, for all I read about competition and beating the other gal and making it faster, stronger, longer – the only thing that truly matters to me now is that I can run, or walk or breathe or think for that matter. I spent 12 long months not being able to walk very far some days, breathe without pain and unable to remember simple things like why I got in my car or what I was supposed to do with my time that day, let alone which highway would take me to my Dad’s house or that I had to be told something a minimum of 56 times in order to remember it. There are parts of the last year which have completely escaped me.

It was hard and it's not pretty, but I feel a gigantic feeling of relief 363 days after my last run.

It was hard and it’s not pretty, but I feel a gigantic feeling of relief 363 days after my last run.

I set out to write an angry post – because I am angry – about what happened to me. It doesn’t seem fair. And yet, 1 in 3 people don’t survive a PE. In the last two days, I have received two private messages from readers who have lost a friend or family member to a PE. I’m the third one. Why me?

From anger, I move on to complete grief and sadness. Many days, I am overridden with guilt that I am alive when so many others cannot say the same thing. I want to know why, how and when things will return to normal. But for me, there is no returning to normal, there is only a new normal, which I hope someday I can adjust to.

In speaking with a friend this weekend, I said, “If only I had known, I wouldn’t have had this happen,” to which she responded, “How were you supposed to know?” And she is right. How was I supposed to know? So many young, active, healthy people do not think a DVT or PE can happen to them and that simply is not true. It can. It will. And more people will die because most people simply do not know.

From anger and sadness, I turn to sheer determination to spread the word about what happened to me. I tell everyone. I have started a new site dedicated to Blood Clot Recovery, although I still plan to talk about my experiences here because it will always be a part of the new me.

I almost gave up on this blog and running, until two nights ago when I ran those two miles and realized running doesn’t have to be perfect. I’ve been gone for 363 days and it wasn’t easy and I did (and probably still will) think I would be better off not having to deal with anything that happened to me – the pain, the anger, the grief. But, then I think of one thing, there is someone else out there, going through where I have already been and I want to be there to say, “Don’t give up, because it does get better, little by little, day by day.” And you may take seven steps backwards to every one you take forward, but one day you will look back down the road and think, “I can’t believe how far I’ve come.”

It may take years for me to ever gain a sense of peace about what happened to me. I am often fearful of what happened and what is to come. Right now, I know I cannot face the pain of another PE. But, I also know, my life is more meaningful than it has ever been – because I have this life. I don’t know why and I don’t know where, when or how, but I do know I am here for a purpose and in the coming months and years, I hope I find that purpose, because I was not given a second chance without one.

Me & Judi on the day I threw my blood clot, one year ago.

Me & Judi on the day I threw my blood clot, one year ago.

Until the next mile marker,

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