I could write a lot of things. I could write nothing. I think both would be acceptable and understood after the events that unfolded at the 117th Boston Marathon yesterday. Sure, I have posts lined up, reviews to do, statements to make; but none of that seems to matter right now. All that matters to me is that this runner remembers Boston.
I have friends, in and outside of my running life, who asked if I was running; some who sent a kind text or email to let me know they were thinking about me; and still others who asked me why it even mattered. No I wasn’t there (and never will be to run), thank you for thinking of me and all those affected and it matters because I am a runner too.
It’s funny how our minds work during such an event. My initial thoughts were of distress and panic, “Were the friends I had running okay?” Thankfully they are. My thoughts then wondered to “What would I do if I were there?” I can’t imagine. And, finally “Why” as bitter sadness and outrage set in. My heart is already so heavy with sadness.
Still, others that I know have asked, “Can’t you see the bigger picture here?”
And, I know, this is about more than running. And I do know running isn’t everything.
But, the community I care about and love; the community that has always, always been there for me in one way or another was so devastated today that I am nearly at a loss for words. It’s not fair. It hurts and it makes me angry. When I recreated my blog a couple of months ago, I detailed why I run and one of those reasons is to remember. We will never forget what happened in Boston. We can’t. We will run again. It’s what we as a community of runners, do.
Life is delicate, more delicate than I ever imagined and let’s face it; life has done a pretty damn good job of pounding that into my head for the past two years. At any second, life – and the people whose lives you cherish – can be ripped form your grasp, without any warning and you are left to pick up the shattered pieces with only a fleeting memory to hold on to. Life is precious, more precious than I ever imagined.
No, I will never run Boston and I would consider it a great privilege to even spectate. But, my heart is there. Because I too, am a runner and I will remember.
Until the next mile marker,