The past three years have pretty much been about surviving for me. I haven’t been running and I haven’t been working out. More than a few times, I thought of just shutting this blog down and moving on with my life – without running and fitness. In a lot of ways, running is who I was, not who I am. Ever since I did survive a blood clot in my leg (DVT) that went to my lung (PE) just over three years ago, I have been unable to run. At first it was physically difficult for me to do so and after that, it became an emotional struggle to even think about putting on running shoes. I began running way back when to lose weight, take care of myself and get my life together. It worked. I was happy, healthy and in better shape than I had ever been in my life.

Then, my mom passed away while running one day and then I almost did after running one weekend. I hated running – I still do sometimes. I had given it everything and in return, I faced more heartache then I ever envisioned at just 29 years old. None of my happy memories of running mattered to me anymore. I locked running up and threw away the key. I refused to care – about running, about my health, about my happiness. I felt betrayed by my body and my emotions. How was I out of breath just walking into the kitchen and how could I hate something that had once brought me so much joy?

For the past three years, I tried my absolute hardest to forget about running and the good times. I had no choice. I had to focus on making it through what proved to be a long and difficult recovery and managing a lifelong illness. Here and there, I tried to walk or jog, but it always ended (or started) in tears and I once again found myself on an emotional roller coaster of sadness, fear, blame, anger and betrayal.

I shifted my focus to other things – my relationships, my writing and my pursuit of new passions. I immersed myself in blogging about my recovery from blood clots and eventually, a new career. It felt good to be driven by something other than my feet on the pavement and eventually, I stopped missing running. I stopped wishing I could run again, I stopped wondering if I could and this time, I didn’t feel guilty. I gained weight again (I wasn’t moving at all) and I stopped paying careful attention to what I put in my mouth. I couldn’t afford to care about anything else so I didn’t. I developed an “It is, what it is” attitude. Managing a chronic illness is time-intensive and exhausting – I didn’t have the time, energy or resources to manage my situation and pursue good health. I was operating in survival mode, my only capability.

Through it all – even my success in online advocacy and my profound happiness in my new career – I began to notice an old feeling again. Just like all those years ago, I started to feel like I needed to take the steps to get healthy again – even if that meant lacing up my shoes and jogging down the street. I joined a gym, not unlike all those years ago, and had a few good treadmill runs, but I couldn’t get back into it. I didn’t feel anger or sadness, just defeated and disheartened. Who was I kidding? I’m not a runner. And there I was, back at ground zero with no way out and no motivation to even look for one.

Then one day, I was scrolling through Facebook when a post on Sam Heughan’s – the Scottish actor best known for his roles as Jamie Fraser in the Starz series Outlander – Wall caught my eye. The post was simple. It said, “Let’s get ready for MPC” and featured a small video clip of Sam running. I clicked on the link which directed me to the My Peak Challenge website where it said, “It all started on a mountain.” And I was hooked.

In it’s second year, #MyPeakChallenge is the brainchild of Sam, who believes that there is significant power in sharing the feeling of accomplishment and exhilaration that comes with completing a physical challenge. He also holds a firm belief in the power of exercise to unite people across many different ability levels. Something hit home – I used to hold those beliefs too – and I felt something stir inside of me. I clicked “Add to cart” and signed up for the 60 day Prep Program which includes a customizable and scalable nutrition and fitness plan to prepare me to succeed in a challenge I later choose to complete. I was also very excited about the private Facebook forum, where I would receive direct support from Sam himself and his personal trainer John Valbonesi of Fight Camp Glasgow. And, no less than half of the the proceeds of the program (just $89) go to Bloodwise to support blood-cancer research. There really wasn’t a single reason I could think of to say no.

This week I completed my first week of the My Peak Challenge Prep Program, which included several days of strength training, cardio and rest too. I completed every single workout – and I ran too, my own choice for cardio activity. I’m logging my food choices, macro nutrients and calories on My Fitness Pal while slowly incorporating Sam’s shopping list into my diet. Although weight loss is not my only goal nor the primary goal of the program, I am happy to say I have lost 4.8 pounds so far.

I’m taking it a day at a time and taking care of myself. Excessive weight is a risk factor for blood clots and so is sitting for long periods – both things I can work to control, in light of the risk factors I cannot control like an incurable clotting disorder. I am tired of feeling sluggish and sick and I am tired of feeling embarrassed about my size, even though I know I have nothing to be embarrassed about. I was just about done feeling the way I do when My Peak Challenge just happened to give me the last bit of motivation I needed to make a change. Finding and holding on to motivation can be hard, even when all of the motivation is right there in front of you. Here and now in my present life, the My Peak Challenge is exactly what I needed to inspire me to change. I can’t wait to see what mountain I will climb next.

Tell me about you. What motivates you to make a change? What goal are you working towards right now? Are you a member of any fitness or nutrition programs or groups to help you achieve your goal?

Until the next mile marker,

Cock-A-Leekie Soup is a Scottish soup dish of leeks and chicken stock, classically thickened with barley, and is perfect for fall. It is a peasant dish with many regional variations, some which go back as far as the 16th century. The original recipe added prunes during cooking, and traditionalists still garnish with a julienne of prunes (sometimes soaked in scotch for the full effect). I omitted the prunes altogether because we don’t really like them, although my husband was willing to try for the scotch.

I first discovered Cock-A-Leekie Soup at a pre-1800 early frontier encampment we visited at a festival. I am intrigued with outdoor and cast iron cooking (and it is primarily what I use at home) and watched one of the re-enactors cooking this soup for her family. I asked her about it and she told me what it was called and the recipe. I adapted it from her recipe, some online finds (listed below) and of course, added my own touch based on my tastes (as I believe you should in cooking). This is a rustic dish so don’t get caught up in perfect measurements or precise cutting. It’s a perfect fall recipe that is really satisfying, easy to cook and makes plenty of leftovers – you don’t want to miss out!

Cock-A-Leekie Soup

Prep time: About 30 minutes

Cook time: About 2 hours

Total time to make: About 2 hours, 30 minutes

What You Need:

One whole chicken cut up (I buy mine like that, but you could use any type of chicken you wanted/have on hand)
6-7 leeks, cut lengthwise and then into pieces/chunks (I only used the white/light green parts at the bottom of the stalk, see below if you need detailed cutting instructions)
4-6 carrots total; 4 or 5 peeled and cut into chunks/strips; 1 unpeeled carrot
1 onion, peeled, cut in half
3 quarts chicken broth or stock (2 quarts are necessary for the soup, I like a 3rd quart to make it more brothy and for leftovers)
1 cup white rice (you could use any kind of rice you wanted)
Water equivalent to make 1 cup rice (found on the rice packaging, usually a cup or so)
8 oz fresh mushrooms, pre-sliced or cut into quarters/slices
Spices (use your imagination on what you add and the amounts, according to what you like or don’t like!):
- A pinch of Garlic powder
- Some Oregano
- Some Thyme
- A bit of Salt
- A pinch of Black pepper
- Some Sweet Curry Powder
- A dash of Celery Salt
3-4 Bay Leaves
Parsley, a handful fresh, roughly chopped
Celery leaves, a handful fresh, roughly chopped

What You Do:

Pour 2 quarts of stock into a large stock pot
Lightly season chicken (with skin and bones) with salt and black pepper.
Place chicken in pot with whole, unpeeled carrot, half of the onion and bay leaves (you can also place the chicken parts in the pot if they came with the chicken)
Cover the pot and simmer gently for 1 hour or until the chicken is falling off the bone

(While the chicken is cooking)

Cut leeks, rinse well in a colander or strainer and set aside (discard tops, see below for cutting instructions, if needed)
Peel and chop carrots and set aside
Chop/slice mushrooms if needed and set aside
Chop parsley and celery leaves and set aside
Mix dry spices in a small bowl and set aside

(After the chicken is cooked through)

Remove the chicken from the pot and set aside to cool
Remove the vegetables, other chicken parts, bay leaves and discard
Strain the stock if needed and return to pot
Add rice to broth and equivalent of water needed to cook rice (found on rice package or about a cup)
Add the leeks, carrots, mushrooms, herbs and spices to the pot (except fresh parsley and celery leaves); stir, bring to a simmer and cover.
While the vegetables continue to cook, de-bone chicken and remove skins, cut into bite-sized pieces
Add cut up chicken pieces to pot of broth, rice and vegetables
Cook all ingredients for another 30-45 minutes at a simmer, covered, until vegetables are really tender
In the last few minutes, add fresh parsley and celery leaves to the pot, as well as any extra broth you may desire; stir to heat through
Ladle into bowls and serve hot!

Please note: Due to the rice in the soup, you may need to add more broth prior to re-heating leftovers

Additional recipes for Cock-A-Leekie Soup/Resources:

How to cut up leeks: http://motherwouldknow.com/journal/cock-a-leekie-soup.html#cock-a-leekie
Some tasty variations, includes prunes: http://britishfood.about.com/od/starte2/r/cockleekie.htm
Quick and easy(er) using barley or even potatoes: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cock-a-leekie-soup/

Tell me about you. Have you tried Cock-A-Leekie Soup? Is a favorite for your family? What variations do you add (or subtract) to make it your own? Did you enjoy this recipe?

Until the next mile marker,